Why First Love is Memorable

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When we were young, we were capable of falling in love. We didn’t date much. Someone attractive was good enough for us to fall in love with.

 

The first love was memorable unless your first lover truly disappointed you. It seems that you can’t love someone else so much. It’s not that how great your first lover was, but that how capable you were of strongly feeling the love.

The first moment you fell in love, the first kiss, even the first orgasm, and the first time you fell in love online, all of them were memorable. Unfortunately, you can’t experience the same a second time.

The feel of love is like the feel of a drug. The first time a small soft dose could have an unforgettable effect on you. But later on only harder drugs and larger doses can give you that same effect.

Love is the same; sex is the same. That’s an unfortunate fact.

If you are looking for such effect, then you’ll end up dating different people one by one, and be disappointed again and again.

Do you believe that there’s one super man or woman who’s superior to others out there for you, so you’ll keep such strong feeling of him or her forever?

We are all just ordinary human beings.

Prem says:
September 7, 2013 at 1:36 pm
The best experience in this world is falling in love with someone and if that someone is your first love then it would be awesome thing one can ever get in this world. But all are not blessed with their first love forever, it does not mean that one should never fall in love again and yea I know first love is first love and nothing can beat those feelings. But since we are human beings and have a tendency to change and adapt to a particular situation it’s better to move on rather than waiting for better and better. You might have heard this love those who love you ,don’t run behind love make the love run behind you. I think it was too much to say ;). But this is what I feel at this moment. 🙂

Zzlow says:
September 8, 2013 at 5:12 pm
I don’t think the answer is in the other person, but in one’s own capacity to love, to be passionate, and to grow.

If you’ve lost that, you need to find it in yourself again, no one else can do it for you. You could meet the “special person” (I don’t think there is just one, many people fall in true love again after being widowed, for instance) and not give them the opportunity or attention they deserve because you’re looking past them to chase an adolescent idea of infatuation.

I Met up with my Old Boyfriend after 22 Years

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I met up with my old boyfriend after 22 years. We e-mailed everyday and talked on the phone also everyday for 2.5 months. We met up and He said he loved me still and would wait for me to get divorced. He also is getting divorced.

 

Then one day he said he didn’t love me and the calls stopped (he got a $300 phone bill) but he still e-mails me and texts me. He says he wants to just be friends but I think there is more to it. You don’t talk that much just for that when you could get it anywhere else. He also made a lot of promises that I believed and he has reneged on them. He told me it was just for sex but he even told his mom and all his co-workers about me and his wife.

I am really confused about what to do. I want him more than anything. We only broke up because his family thought I was beneath him. We seem to also have more in common than before. My present husband also says he loves me but I have no feelings for him like I should. What should I do to get the love of my life back and finally be truly happy. I should state he lives 2 hrs away next to my brother in law and near my best friend so I am near him often but not a lot.

– Cindy Pearson

Johnny says:
April 15, 2010 at 11:23 am
Consider the fact that you may have lost the “spark” with your current husband partly because of your relationship with your ex. If your main complaint is not feeling feelings you think you should, maybe you could go to counseling and see why those feeling left you.

Tamara Maker says:
April 15, 2010 at 8:07 pm
Hi Cindy,
My first question would be. Did you ever love your husband to begin with?
Your “friend” told you he just wants to be friends and you think there’s more to it. Of course there is you are both still married. You both would be leaving the comfortable for the unknown and that is a scary thing to do.
I’m not really clear on what you mean when you said “You don’t talk that much when you can get it anywhere else”
You also stated that he made promises to get you to have sex with him but then reneged on them. Just like women, man can change their mind on things.
Just remember, it’s easy to feel love for something you want that you can’t have. And he has you hook line and sinker so why should he try?

mike h says:
April 15, 2010 at 11:30 pm
I think your husband is the one who is getting screwed Have you told your him about how you REALLY feel?
Does he know that you had sex with another man?
Does he know you are having an affair?
Do you have any children?

jenny says:
April 18, 2010 at 3:46 pm
i see that you have asked for advice yet you havnt replied to any of the questions or e-mails that have been posted. i would personally have a different view of you if i knew you had children or not. that is only because if in fact you do have children not only are you hurting your husband you are hurting your children as well. i also believe that if you are dishonoring your husband you should leave him to get on with someone who loves him for who he is. it is unfair to be in a relationship with someone who is cheating and lying to you while they are working everyday for you while being completely in the dark about their life. you need to make a decision on what you truly want in this life you only have one to live. i personally dont think you deserve that choice considering what you have done already. a mid life crisis does not constitute ruining your life and those around you. so please let us see the truth in your response if you truly want the advice you so willingly asked for

I Met with my Broken First Love after 20 Years

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I have a situation here that I met with my broken love after 20 years and now understand we are still deeply being in love. Due to circumstance we had to part and now realise both are married and with kids. But our first love still persists and is very deep inside missing each other over years. We are now communicating over phone confidentially with all happiness now. How to get over the guilt and what can we call this relationship? It is not extra-marital, nor friendship.. pls advise?

– Raj

 

Min Min says:
October 9, 2009 at 4:56 pm
So far nothing inappropriate yet, so my advice is only for the future.

As for the guilt, it’s how you feel; if you feel guilty, even if I rationalize that you are not, you still feel guilty, and the guilt will affect you. Vice versa.

Why do you need to define your relationship? Perhaps there’s no definition you can find to fit it; perhaps you just create one.

What you need to do is to find the best way to avoid harm.

If you two decided to keep both of your families intact, then please, don’t go further. If you are happy now, then keep the way as is, but don’t go further. If you are already happy, please don’t go further to be happier.

The toughest part of feeling is that it’s uncontrollable when it exceeds limits. Please don’t go further when it’s still under control.

Love is a feeling that human creates. It brings happiness when it doesn’t interfere with normal life. It’s just one of the finest art and enjoyment. Just like any other interest, please don’t overdo it. Once it’s overplayed, it will hurt you. Please limit the frequency of your contact. It should be the last task you think about if it will be the first entertainment you go for. Regard each other as a sincere friend.

If you go further till the feeling outweighs the mind, my advice will be redundant.

rondaH says:
November 28, 2011 at 12:00 am
I am in the same situation almost identical as the prior question on the floor. My first love is in the south and I’m up north we just starting texting ang talking to each other over 20yrs we both married with kids and I just found out we too have been thinking of each other over the years still madly in love. What to do now?