Archive for category: Parent-Teen Relationships

This story is about a couple named John and Stephanie and they met through a very popular website called YouTube. They both loved making videos and they both started to watch each other’s videos without the other person ever knowing. They both started to become big “fans” of each other without ever knowing that the other person knew about the other. John was an avid filmmaker while Stephanie was a very good singer that had her own fanbase. As these two continued to get more popular, they started to think that “I’ll never be good enough.”

After months of watching her videos, John knew that he needed to at least try to talk to her. He mustered up the guts to message and that’s when things started. John and Stephanie added each other on Facebook and they started to “ask questions” that they already knew the answers to because of their videos. They both lived in Sydney, Australia and so the situation could not have been more perfect. However, things got confusing when Stephanie needed to fly to America to continue her career as a nurse. Since things weren’t official yet, Stephanie decided that it would be better to pursue her career and not let John hold her back.

They continued to get closer despite the fact that they were far and only met once. This was very tough on Stephanie since she always followed her parents and they told her that she shouldn’t have a boyfriend yet. John understood and so they stayed very close friends. As the months went by, the two continued to talk and then Stephanie started to have the urge to let her parents know. However, there were two problems that neither one of them could fix. Stephanie’s parents had no idea who John was and since they met online, her parents would instantly think that he is a “stranger.”

John also did not have a stable career yet as a filmmaker and so things just seemed extremely tough for the both of them. They felt stuck and John knew that he needed to fix things. He flew to her parent’s hometown in Orlando, Florida and had a very long talk about how he felt for Stephanie and he even made a movie for them to see just how much he loves her. This was extremely touching for her parents and they knew that John was indeed perfect for her. John and her parents all flew to Stephanie in San Francisco and surprised her and all their problems were finally solved. This love story of John and Stephanie is not the typical story but it is indeed a sign that true love still exists.

After years of waiting, the two were finally reunited outside of the internet world and the two were able to get married. With a wedding that had red roses and everything that you can imagine, one thing that stood out was the amount of guests that had cameras out and they were all making YouTube videos for their own channels.

Falling in Love is a natural thing. However, the intensity and its consequences could be different between an adult and a teen. But the actual main difference is its level of maturity. An adult with its grown up experience can handle it better than an adolescent who is on the verge of experiencing what the child thinks as real love. There are many firsts for an adolescent, and falling in love is one of those emotions that your teen will have to go through as part of growing up. The thrill and the excitement of a teen once triggered is quite intense. Factors like watching a movie, reading novels, and seeing the sweetness of an older sibling or neighbors with their partners, could all the more intensify the emotion, and bring them to the imaginative world of romance.

Some parents are not prepared for this new development with their teens. They tend to worry too much especially when they see them running towards the phone or doorbell like never before, with eyes twinkling, and a smile that reaches ear to ear. In addition, they seem to become absent minded all the time. So, what do you do? How do you handle your falling in love teen?

Act Natural. My dear parents, your teen did not commit a crime. Don’t panic! Act as though nothing happened. Don’t bombard your teen with probe like questions. Sometimes, overreacting could cause more harm than good. This will only scare your teen away.

Enjoy the moment. You were a teen yourself. You know the feeling of elation. Savor moments like this. It is your teen’s first step towards the long ride to maturity. Most teenage relationships don’t last, particularly, from ages 13 to 15. This will serve as a training ground for them on how to handle future relationships.

Establish a Connection. Don’t be preachy! Once you have dealt with the situation naturally, then the wall that seemed to put your teen on the defensive side will loosen up. Your falling in love teen will be less cautious, and there will be openness between the two of you. Value the trust your teen has bestowed on you.

Casual Reminders. Now that you have bridged the gap, you may even share your own experiences to your teen, and casually remind her that what she may be experiencing is not real love. It could be more of an attraction. But be very careful about this, because your teen may think you don’t understand her at all. Always choose the right words to say.

Listen. This is very important. It is a skill that you have to master with your teen. They want you to listen to what they have to say, and not just the other way around. Don’t treat them as though they don’t know a thing about falling in love. Hear them out.

Elaine Enchiverri is a professional freelance writer who enjoys writing about various topics, including helping parents cope with their teenage children.

Image: Loyal O.A.K.

When you were a teenager, you probably couldn’t wait to get into a relationship. You wanted to have fun and hang out with members of the opposite sex; it was a very exciting time, when everything was fresh and new. You were having a great time. Your parents, on the other hand, were probably less than thrilled, even though they themselves had been in your shoes many years before.

Now you’re a parent of a teenage daughter, and suddenly the tables are turned. You know that dating and going out with friends of both genders is a normal and necessary part of teenage life, but it doesn’t make it any easier for you when your daughter begins to want to date. And because kids are growing up so quickly these days, you’re concerned that she’s still too young. How do you know if your teenage daughter is old enough to date?

Age is More than a Number… But Not Much More

There is no hard and fast rule about when teenage girls are old enough to date. Some parents say fourteen; some parents say sixteen; most parents say not until they’re thirty. It’s easy to say that your daughter has to hit a certain age before she’s allowed to date, and this might work just fine for your family. The truth is, even though teenage girls have varying maturity levels, they don’t vary that much. There is a big difference between a thirteen-year-old and a sixteen-year-old, especially when it comes to friendships, relationships, and the opposite sex. Even if your young teenager is responsible and intelligent, it doesn’t mean she’s ready to tackle the dating world.

What Does “Dating” Mean, Anyway?

If your teenage daughter wants to begin dating, it’s also important to consider what, exactly, she means. If she wants to go out with a boy, is she going to a candlelit dinner or on a drive up to Lover’s Peak? This kind of dating is probably exactly what you don’t approve of. But for young teenagers, a “date” could mean something as simple as going bowling with an entire group of friends (and the boy she likes). Teenagers often want to act older than they really are, but lots of the things they do are still childish, teenage things. If your daughter’s idea of a date means an innocent, chaperoned trip to the mall with all her friends, what is the harm in letting her “date?”

Instilling Good Judgment

Even if you’re tempted to ground your daughter for even mentioning the word “dating”, don’t close your mind so fast. You might not allow her to go on a date, especially if it’s with an older boy or in an uncontrolled environment like his house, but be careful not to let the opportunity to parent go to waste. Talk to your daughter about dating. Not in an embarrassing, lecturing way, but in a way that lets her know you understand her desire to date, and that you’re willing to work on it with her as she gets older to find a solution that makes everyone happy.

Photo Credit: Walter G. Arce

Choice

Lover vs Parents

The related cases we will refer to when we address this topic are under “Lover vs Parents” category.

“No one can live your life but you.” This is true, however, when your parents dislike your boyfriend, the situation is not so simple and becomes tough.

The first question you should ask yourself is: why do my parents dislike my boyfriend, and what’s more, why do they want me to leave my boyfriend? The answer makes things clear: Your parents love you and want you to live a happy life in the future. Based on their own experiences and knowledge, they are afraid that you will not be happy living with your boyfriend in the future, especially when your boyfriend had a bad past. In this case, your parents are reasonable. If they didn’t care about you, they won’t even be concerned about whom you were with and would just hope you get married and leave them as soon as possible.

If you are seriously being in love with this boy and you want it to last but you don’t want your parents to be mad, then do something to show them how much you love him, tell them why you love him so much and ask them how they would feel if their parents said they couldn’t have had each other.

If you have reasons, your parents will listen and understand you, since they love you. If your parents are not convinced, then it means there’s something wrong and you will probably be aware of what’s wrong. Grecia leos said, “If I would have listened to them [her parents] at the beginning I wouldn’t be here crying.”

On the other hand, I hope that your parents will take the time to discuss their concerns with you instead of simply forbidding you to meet him.

Boyfriend or Parents, that is a complicated question and the answer varies.

We managed to find a shortcut to help you make an informed decision: Please simply take this quiz and you’ll get an answer tailored to your situation.

dieselfit says:
September 9, 2013 at 10:56 am
You make a good point about parents here. Parents will love to listen but I think they are too stereotypical. Sometimes stereotypes do work and parents love using them, but they really don’t know about our choices until they step into our shoes. So until then, they should try to listen to us as much as possible before making the average radical choices that parents make!

Prem says:
September 12, 2013 at 3:42 pm
It’s really a complicated situation when we are stuck between our parents and lover. And how thing changes drastically when we give more love to the lover than parents, why we not thankful to them (parents) first who brought us to this world? Let’s keep this aside now. If you truly love someone wholeheartedly and if you think you can’t live without your lover then you need to work really hard to make your parents like your lover and if you’re smart enough then it’s hardly a matter of time. First ask your lover to be polite and be gentle enough to make an impression. Parents just want their children’s to be happy and they always fear thinking what if their child get into wrong hands and suffer in future, but this could be avoided if you make sure to let your know that your choice not that bad and you’re in safe hands. It will take time but it’s not impossible. One last thing I want to say don’t hurt your parents and go against them at the same time don’t leave your lover too if and only if your LOVE is TRUE.