The Secret to an Amazing Proposal is All in the Story!

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Have you ever wondered why some guys seem to have a knack for romance while other guys are…well, they look sort of like Arnold Schwarzenegger in a Jane Austen movie?  Yes, perhaps you consider yourself one of those guys—funny, hardworking and devoted but without a natural “flare” for grand romantic gestures.

You may even be dreading the wedding proposal to come.  Sure, you do want to spend the rest of your life with this beautiful creature.  However, how can you possibly put what you feel into words?

As the title suggests, it’s all in the story.  Don’t overthink this step.  Romance is not something perfectly timed, eloquently worded or over-the-top dramatic.  It is something real, something intimate and something shared between two soul mates.  And of course, some guys do have the tendency to avoid sharing their feelings or discussing raw emotion.

Think About the Story

So here’s an easier way to look at it.  Think about the love you two have as a “story”, a novel, or perhaps a good movie.  Imagine yourself as Bruce Willis or Ryan Gosling if you must!  At the heart of every romance lies a good story.

You didn’t just meet each other and want to get married, right?  No, your love evolved over time and the story of your love affair became deeper, more complicated and far more amazing as time went on.

So I want you think back to the first time you met your partner.  What do you remember about the event?  What were your thoughts during the first date?  How did your attitude towards her change the longer you knew her?  What were some of the major landmarks you remember during your initial courtship, such as restaurants, stores, entertainment shows and the like?

All of these details help to create your personal love story.  These are the individual memories that she and you cherish and that you will forever associate with your marriage.  Isn’t it funny how a restaurant, a song, a movie or a simple gift can convey so much more because it was part of your courtship?

Embrace this perspective.  Start thinking about what you remember and what your girlfriend is sure to remember.  Now comes stage two, transforming these past memories into a moment of reflection for the present.  That is, the wedding proposal, the culmination of all these individual memories.

Crafting the Wedding Proposal Creatively

Now that you have the “story” of your love fresh in mind it’s time to start being nostalgic.  That means working some of the little details you remember into a gushingly romantic presentation.  For example, let me share the proposal strategy of a friend of mine.  He met his girlfriend through the Internet, through an instant messenger profile.  (One keyword search made all the difference in the world!)

He figured he didn’t just want to propose, but wanted to present her with a proposal that was fitting and reminiscent of the way they met.  So what he did was send her a dozen cryptic instant messages, sending her on a bit of a geocaching hunt around town, until she finally found him at the restaurant of their first date.  That’s when he proposed and presented her with a beautiful set of diamond watches and a ring.

Crafting the Wedding Proposal Logistically

You have to think of a proposal as an organized event, even though it does represent spontaneity.  Simply because a poorly planned wedding proposal can be a disaster, especially if it’s a public scene.  (You’re probably thinking of those infamous failed wedding proposals at basketball games, right?)

That’s just one other reason to avoid “spectacle” if at all possible.  It’s one thing to think creatively and to create an amazing little scene.  However, you don’t want to depend too much on uncontrollable, external factors.  In other words, stop thinking “viral” (as in, this is so awesome it will be on the Internet!) and start thinking about your wife’s feelings 30 or 40 years down the road.  What really matters is not how loud people applaud, but how much of an impact it makes on your bride-to-be.

That said, some people can’t help but be theatrical because that’s just in their personality.  Think about the movie Walk the Line which told the love story of Johnny Cash and June Carter.  He had a flare for the dramatic and singing was the “story” of his life and June’s.  No wonder then he proposed in public, and in the middle of a duet song (in front of an audience), when he said, “I have asked you 40 different ways, and it’s time you came up with a fresh answer…You’re my best friend.  Marry me.”

So only plan a dramatic proposal if it’s really in your heart.  Don’t feel obligated to step up to the occasion.  What your girlfriend really wants to see is sincerity, what you remember about your personal love story.  The memories that have mattered to you and will be remembered until the end of time!

Mark Harris is a freelance writer and work-at-home Internet marketer based in White Rock, BC.  When he’s not enjoying the beach, hiking or kayaking, he’s exploring the net on his laptop or browsing sites.  He can be found at one of the local coffee houses in White Rock where he escapes from the home office to get some writing done.

Will You Marry Me? A Guide To Popping The Question

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Planning to Pop the Question?

Proposing to the one you love is the most romantic thing you will ever do for them. Little girls grow up imagining this day, people dream about it for years, and for some it is the most important question they’ll ever ask.

If it comes to that time in life when you feel it’s your turn to pop the question, then you need to plan and prepare for the big day. Spontaneity is great but a little bit of thought can go a long way in this situation. Below are some short paragraphs to help you steady the nerves and make it the best and hopefully the most successful proposal it can be.

The Main Event

So what are you going to do, and how are you going to propose?  Take her for a romantic cruise down the ancient streams of Venice perhaps, announce it a football game or why not have a waiter place the ring in her apple crumble? Whilst these ideas are fun and creative, your proposal should reflect who you are. This does not mean that extra effort shouldn’t be taken though. Something that signifies the depth of your affections will feel a lot more meaningful compared to an over exaggerated gesture you try to make.

Your proposal doesn’t have to be spectacular.  Just because something seems low key that doesn’t mean it hasn’t taken as much thought.

Smarten Up

If you’re going to propose then put on your best clobber. Shine those shoes, shave that hairy face and starch that shirt. If there is something they like you to wear or maybe they prefer it when you style your hair a certain way, then do it. You want to look your best, more attractive than the day they met you. Your fiancé, guaranteed, will remember every little detail about this day and so they should. The effort you put into the way you look will be sincerely appreciated.

Rehearse Your Lines

Don’t choke, write down what you want to say and give it some thought. Voice the reasons you want to marry them, explain why they are so special to you, remind them of the times you’ve smiled together and illustrate to them, with your most convincing but heartfelt vocabulary about the good times to come. This is your moment to shine.

Facing Rejection

Unfortunately this is a possibility we all have to think about. I know it’s hard and tummy dropping to consider but being prepared to receive the answer we are not looking for is something we must do.

Firstly don’t beat yourself up. Committing your life to someone is an absolutely meteor heading to earth decision to make. Just because your lady said no on this occasion, it doesn’t mean she will next time. This leads me onto the next point: don’t freak out if this does happen. Gracefully pull yourself up and tell them you understand. The last thing you want to be on your knees is a complete mess. This will not only add to the discomfort of the situation but also present your loved one with unnecessary guilt to carry, which isn’t fair. Things happen for a reason and in hindsight we normally understand why.

Make It Personal

Showing your future soul mate how much you’ve been listening all this time and how well you know them could be the greatest compliment you will give. Incorporate what they like, think about their hobbies, their tastes, anything they seem to enjoy, try and get it all involved. The more personal you make your proposal of marriage to them, the more chance they will say yes.

Be Yourself

The most important point of all to remember is to be you.  Be who you were born to be and in your own special way ask them to be a part of you too.

Image by marykbaird via morguefile.com

This article was written by Mark Johnson, owner of UK diamond jewellery specialist, Serendipity Diamonds. Mark is passionate when it comes to sharing his thoughts, knowledge and experiences.